Thursday, June 18

A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney

Andy Rooney, likable curmudgeon of the 60 Minutes show on CBS who began “A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney” in 1978 and kept at until October, 2011, also wrote a newspaper column, TV shows for others and more than a dozen books, most of which were best sellers. His skills were honed during World War II when he was a correspondent for the Army’s Stars and Stripes.

I have not read all of his books, perhaps two or three prior to this latest reading but I remember them generally as good reads. This most recent read, “Years of Minutes”, Public Affairs, New York. (523 pages), was originally published in 2003, and I picked it up in the lending library where I live.

The book contains many of the Minutes essays aired from 1982 to 2003. I found in several of these comments that struck me as especially keen or humorous insights. Here are just a few (quote marks omitted):

You may not think driveways are important, but let me give you one figure. A car parked behind another car in the driveway, with the keys removed and temporarily misplaced, is the third biggest cause of divorce in America today. (1985)

And the one thing that makes us all like America better than any other country…there are more Americans living here than anyplace else. (From Good Things, 1988.)

President Bush gave his health speech the other day and he talked about the kind of health care people want. Well, I can tell him what we want. We all want the kind of health care a President gets. If the President faints, there are two doctors taking his pulse before he hits the floor. That’s the kind of health care we’d all like to have. (1992)

August is the only month without a real or fake holiday. That’s because we don’t want to waste a day off work during our vacation. (Official Holidays, 1996.)

Does anyone read Time, Newsweek and U.S. News?   I mean all three? (Wealth of Information, 1999.) I subscribed to and read all three in the 90’s. What does that say about me?

First, we learned that the United States spent several hundred million dollars digging a tunnel under the Russian Embassy in Washington so we could spy on them. Does this make you proud to be an American.(Most News is Bad News, 2001.)

The (New York) Times gets about $75,000 a page Sunday…multiply that by 250 pages. This edition would bring in $18 million. (
The Sunday Paper, 2001.)

Andy died in November, 2011, following complications of surgery. He was 92 years of age.