An article in the March issue of SmartMoney, a publication
of the Dow-Jones & Company, Inc., (publishers of The Wall Street Journal,)
detailed how in some families job hunting has become a total family affair.
Parents of college-grad children are writing resumes for them, tracking them a
couple of times a week on LinkedIn, going on job interviews, making follow-up
calls (because junior is too busy watching Jersey
Shore?). One new hire’s mother reportedly called to say her kid was
working too many hours and she wasn’t happy.
In some cases where the parents are no more successful in
helping the kid land a job than the kid is on his/her own, parents hire “job
coaches.”
Some of this is undoubtedly desperation on the part of
meddling, doting or desperate (or all three) parents: they want the kids out of
the house and on someone else’s payroll. Twenty-two or twenty-three years of
raising, feeding, nursing, clothing, hauling them to little league and ballet
classes, and educating them is enough. They want to see some payback for the
hundred and fifty grand they coughed up for some private college.
Nevertheless, it was an eye-opener to read some of the
lengths to which involved parents go in the 21st century to help
junior or missy get a job. And think nothing of it. How was it I
and others of my age missed out on this golden opportunity to meddle in our
children’s lives well into their adulthood? It is difficult to believe this sort of obsessive
parenting is only a logical evolution of life in America. Two hundred years ago
artisans took their sons into the family business or trade and taught them how to earn a
livelihood. In my adult experience, fathers and/or mothers – at the most, called
old friends and former college classmates to ask for a job interview for their
offspring. My parents did not do this for me, but I never held it against those
that did. Within my own family, a suggestion, a nod in the right direction, or
a discrete inquiry was to my mind enough.
About thirty years ago I suggested to my oldest son where he
might apply for a job. I gave him a book written by a man recounting his
experiences in that line of work. He read the book, applied for a job and a
career was born. Another son regretted he had declined a job. He had second
thoughts but was embarrassed to ask if the job was still available. I told him
to call."If the job is
still open, there is no embarrassment. If they tell you are too late, hang up.
It’s over.” He made the call, and got the job at an increased opening salary.
Another son wanted to change careers and I asked a
friend to give him an interview. He landed a job and today is a highly valued
employee. A firm where I had done a piece of business opened a new location. I
told them my daughter who was in the same industry wanted to relocate. “Tell
her to send a resume.” She did and relocated.
My last child wanted to go to graduate school to enhance her
opportunities. For a couple of years she and her son boarded in our family home
two days a week and my wife absolutely loved caring for the grandson while our daughter
went to school. Today she is doing well.
At the most I made two suggestions, had two short
conversations, and enjoyed the pleasure of watching my grandson grow.
Accompanying kids on
job interviews? Tracking them on LinkedIn? What has happened to our world? If
this madness continues parents will be going daily to the job while the over-educated
kids stay home and play the latest version of Nintendo?
