Sunday, September 28

The Pickle Factory


***Pat Dolan got a job in a pickle factory outside of Shannon in Ireland. A few weeks into the job he had desires to put his penis in the pickle slicer. After a couple of months he sought help from a psychiatrist. Six months went by and the psychiatrist gave up trying to talk Pat out of his desires and told him to go do what he wanted. A few days later Pat was home in mid-day and his wife asked why. “I put my penis in the pickle slicer and got fired.” His wife turned white with shock and she undid his belt buckle and pulled down Pat’s pants.  To her amazement there was a full size, normal, healthy penis. “What happened to the pickle slicer,” she asked. “I think she got fired also,” said Pat.


Comment to: arch@archibald99.com 

(***Passed along by a friend.)

Tuesday, September 16


Where the tour began.
In South Carolina it is: "Bu fort," but in North Carolina it is "Bo fort," and that is where Joyce and I traveled last week to be with some friends in the Carolinas & Georgia chapter of CIRA (Central Intelligence Retirees Association.) (The group has graciously made me an honorary member.) We stayed in Atlantic Beach in the Outer Banks and a day trip to Beaufort was a pleasant outing and one of the annual reunion activities. 




The tour around the historic city was in a double decker bus imported from London. Sitting up top in the open air provided a great view of the city but required riders to duck low occasionally as we passed under large oaks with hanging branches.
A London Import                                                                                                                                                  
Beaufort is replete with historic homes which are well maintained and many still occupied. A courthouse, jail and apothecary have been re-located to a common site and a docent led us through all of these. Punishment 200 years ago included jail time, floggings, hanging and the stocks.



 
  
   It was not all touring, golf and socializing. Joyce and I took time to walk on the long pier behind out hotel and take in the beach, people fishing and seagulls.                                                                                                       
          








































































Complete blog here.

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Thursday, September 4

An anomaly

Anomaly - Merriam-Webster Dictionary

www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/anomaly
Merriam‑Webster
something that is unusual or unexpected.

An anomaly is what the government calls a failure (a hated word.) when things don't work as they should, (e.g. a multimillion dollar missile flunks a test firing.)  I had an anomaly a short while ago when my last blog about the alligator eating a boxer dog and my new look went active before it was finished.
The corrected, updated blog is available by clicking here.
Apologies for the confusion. 
BTW: Please comment on the new look to my email

Alligator ate the dog and the new family look

On Labor Day a nine foot alligator devoured a 90 pound Boxer dog and was later captured and turned over to a Department of Natural Resources trapper. The gator, estimated to weigh 500-600 pounds, was captured in the Long Cove Club gated community on, Hilton Head Island about 8 p.m. by Critter Management wrangler Joe Maffo. The dog's remains were recovered by Maffo and cremated at the family's request, according to news reports.

All of which has nothing to do with my new look. The fringe of hair on the sides of my head above my ears went on the barbershop floor today as I decided to follow my third son, Patrick, and adopt the Bruce Willis shaved head persona.
Blogger Arch - Sept. 4, 2014

Patrick Lee Archibald - August 2014


Sunday, August 31

Enjoy Labor Day

Not surprisingly the U.S. Department of Labor has put together a history of Labor Day. It is an excellent synopsis of the working history of the men and women of the United States. It is well worth a look as our Nation celebrates this holiday.  From the earliest days of the industrial revolution,  the workingmen and women of the United States have helped make this country the most prosperous and powerful nation of any time in history. Whether one was management or labor the individual contributions added up. If you ever drew a paycheck you can rightfully be proud of your contribution and kick back on this day.

Saturday, August 23

Cereal on bananas or Up the Down Staircase

Cereal on bananas or Up the Down Staircase

 Bel Kaufman died on July 25, 2014. She was 103. Born in Germany and raised in the Ukraine she learned English at age 12 and emigrated to the United States. She graduated magna cum laude from Hunter College and earned a master’s degree in English from Columbia University.

The New York City Board of Examiners consistently refused to give her a license to teach because of her Russian accent. She worked for years to overcome this and ultimately got her license. On the side she worked as a writer. In 1965 she published a novel that became a major film and turned her into a celebrity: Up the down Staircase, - “a portrait of a young city school teacher battling a soul-crushing bureaucracy and a blizzard of inane rules.”

Each of us likely has an up-the-down-staircase impulse that surfaces from time to time. Just something that says go against the grain. For me the impulse is to put cereal on bananas
The bananas on cereal rule learned as a child is not embedded in concrete.

Cereal on bananas

A little extra fruit.

Cereal on bananas - Up the Down Staircase






Saturday, July 26

Equal Opportunity, voters and polling

On this day in 1948, July 26, President Harry S Truman
signed Executive Order 9981, desegregating the military of the United States. This bold stroke accomplished two major feats: it opened the door for African-Americans to advance in the military in multiple new ways and it helped President Truman at the polls in November. The desegregation order and later the civil rights platform adopted at the 1948 Democratic convention helped Truman win large majorities among black voters in the populous Northern and Midwestern states and may well have made the difference for Truman in states such as Illinois and Ohio.

This bold stroke was taken by President Truman because he believed desegregation was a moral issue. His chances of winning the 1948 election were considered by practically everyone - except the President himself - to be less than nil.  Many officials in his administration had already lined up new jobs and it is said that even Mrs. Truman doubted her husband would win. So certain were they that the race was over by September, the polling services stopped polling. They would never make that mistake again.

Wednesday, July 16

How to Be an Asshole


The London Review of Books, July 17, 2014 issue, arrived this week with four books given prominence on the front page. “How to Be an Asshole,” reviewed by Sheila Heti, was number four. I doubt anyone could turn himself into  body orifice, but, what the heck, I’ve read books on everything else, why not a “how to be” an “ass” (if not an asshole) and aggravate family, loved ones, friends, neighbors and the old man next to you on the public bus going to pick up his unemployment check. I could hardly contain myself long enough to tear off the plastic wrapper and see man’s guide on how to aggravate and torment.

It turned out that “how to be an asshole” was merely an editor’s slug line to capture attention. Ms. Heti reviewed “The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P., by Adelle Waldman.  (Windmill, 244 pp.) Nathaniel is a struggling writer trying to exist in Brooklyn while waiting for the miracle call from a publisher that something he has written is going to be published and please find an advance check enclosed. He is running one night to a party and encounters a woman he once dated.
“She tells him he is an ‘asshole’ for his behavior after her abortion in the wake of one of their trysts. (He phoned only once in the weeks after the operation, a quick check-up.) He’s annoyed by her accusation, and defensively soothes himself as he walks away: ‘She could have called him,’ he thinks.” This qualifies, surely and unequivocally, as either “ass" or “asshole” attitude and behavior.

The review (by a woman – Ms. Heti) goes on for approximately five and a quarter 14” columns and tells us it is important that a woman (Ms. Waldman) write about a man and his relationship with a woman named Hannah (not the one of the abortion) but who in the end settles on Greer “about whom there are many negative things” but whose story will “sell for six figures.”  Hannah’s won’t: “She lacks charisma, is morally cautious, has an average body.”

Maybe Nathaniel is, after all, capable of being an orifice.